...they say she has an [S] on her chest....

^Love^ {Conjures} the |Blues|

2009-08-11T23:27:00.006-04:00

Borrowing the title from Sharon Bridgforth's performance literature novel "love/conjure blues" I decided to rant about my dating woes tonight...sigh where the hell do I begin....

....No matter how hard I try, finding the right one just seems harder yet easier in some cases. Let me explain. At this point of my young adult life I have had enough experiences to know what I want, and what works, and what I can tolerate. yada. ya. But things are hard when good outcomes are rare and uncertain.

1. Why is it that men think you always owe them something when they aren't willing to give something for it???
Take, take, take. That's all they do.

Eh hem. Anyways, sometimes I can be short tempered but I have learned how to control it and when its necessary, unleash the beast because some men need a reality check. I can be a really nice and caring creature but I refuse to be mislead, manhandled or mistreated. At the moment its hard for me to grasp the fact that I've wasted so much time and energy with certain guys.

2. When are you going to understand that you are replaceable?

I guess I need to start dating outside of my race. I'm not feeling appreciated by brothers nowadays. They say black women are the most loyal to their race and its true, but times are changing. I'm seeing more and more of my female friends, associates and family members dating and even marrying men outside of their race. I'm not saying that the grass is gonna be greener but the grass is definitely different and worth exploring. I just need change. Because I do not know how much longer I can take the hurt and disrespect. I know you're saying I probably did something but on my life...this time it wasn't my fault. With all the times I've been hurt and disappointed with men I'm surprised I'm not some crazy bitter ass woman. I actually do believe in love and the right one...as corny and peasy as that seems...I just need Ichange because I don't deserve this one bit.

They wonder why women are so crazy....smdh

Don't get me wrong people!! I ain't sulking...trust me I have my back ups..***wink wink** When one goes the other follows but is it necessary that this keeps happening? Why the same tomfoolery over and over again? When will it end? When will I get someone I deserve?...yeesh

Artist of the Month: Adele

2009-06-19T01:55:00.002-04:00

Adele. 20 years young. Made in England,UK. I don't know why, but all the artists that are coming out from England have this blues/jazz/rock/pop/soul dimension that I am reallllyyy digging. The first time I heard of Adele was last year's Grammy's I believe (?) and she was just racking up alll the awards for new artists and such and such. I was thinking to myself who the hell is this chick and where did she pop up from??? She performed at the awards that night and I liked her style but not enough for it to stick in my mind....I brushed it off.

.....Fast Forward
...............2 weeks ago

MTV showed one of those "in-between-shows-music-clips" and the one I caught was Adele singing one of her songs "Cold Shoulder" from her latest album "19". Being the bored person I was, I decided actually listen to some of her songs and boy........I was mother effing impressed. I could go on and on but I'm going to let you hear for yourself. If you like Amy Whinehouse, Corinne Bailey Rae or Duffy, You will LOOOOVVEEE Adele. Fuckmazing

" And I hear your words that you made up. You say my name like there could be an us...."

Now things are starting to make sense....

2009-04-15T00:43:00.003-04:00

So I'm here at my desk...Bullshitting...Ignoring the fact that I have a 4 page and 2 page paper due on Thursday. Instead, I've decided to surf the web..Mainly blogs..and I came across an interesting entry entitled "When Does Gangsta Boo have to Go!?" written by AverageBro. I'm going to copy and paste a snippet of the part that made my light bulb turn on..

"Well, I had to pick up Uppity Negress from work that night, so all of us met in the parking lot of the store where she worked which was just around the corner, so while we were trying to coordinate and everything, I was outside talking with the males in the group. And then my friend, who I’ve known since kinny-garten, said, “I don’t like the b*&$#.” And I just thought it was the general “I don’t like her cuz she bougie” type which all of my friends say about her. I asked him why and his response was “I aint like that whole gangsta boo s#$% she was talkin’ about. All she needed to say was that the nigga knew how to lay the pipe.”

And I was so dumbstruck.

Now aside from the fact that he’s the son of a judge and a teacher, and that he probably wants to be a “gangsta boo” to some chick, but I wondered if this phenomena is really true. Do women stay with a bad guy just because the sex is great?

I mean, I’ve heard that reason used a few times. But think about it, why in the world would a woman stay with a no good man? All the man does is sit at the house, barely holds a job, is possibly abusive? I mean, let’s use the famous pop culture movie of Baby Boy when Yvette would always try and get rid of Jodie, but Jodie would come around and PUT IT DOWN! I think usually we make a euphemism out of it all just say “women just want to have a man around” when it really means the sex is good."

So when I read this I said to myself...well damn Nuke!...he is absolutely right. I'm so sure that every female is guilty of this and can never say "I stayed with him because I love him"...bish you stayed because he flipped you, dipped you and might of-even-could have ate the box (oops). This proves the fact that women use men for sex just as much as men use women...It's the sammmme thhhinngg. Jeesh, it all makes sense now. In my life. My girl friends' lives. This is the reason why we stay with "ain't shit niggas". Hmm. As long as you know the difference between love and sex you're good because it is verry extremely easy to mix the two up. At least for women it is because we're emotional creatures and shit happens. So, if you get involved with a guy, you gotta know who and/or what you're getting into. And have a clear understanding of where the relationship is heading and what the circumstances are...
Hmm very intersting. I know some people are like duh! But for real though, I never thought of it this way. Like you know the shit is true but you ignore it because you think it doesn't apply to you. Yes. My epiphany for the night. And with this, I leave you with Alexyss Taylor. This bish is crazy but she speaks the truth.

....So the moral of the story is....

Dick will make you slap somebody!!! Vagina Power!! :::raises fist:::loolll

[Just in time for Valentine's Day] Chris and RiRi: My theories...

2009-02-13T21:43:00.011-05:00

Young love is a beautiful thing.

However.

Things can go wrong.

....I know I'm looking too deep into this situation, people are making jokes, laughing n what have you but everyone can learn from what happened with Chris and Rihanna. I have alot to say so bear with me folks....

As a woman I definitely don't condone domestic violence.duh. Like I absolutely know that if any man were to lay hands on me I'll be in jail and he'll probably be lying in a ditch/floating in a lake/missing his third member/regretting the day he was born (Yea NuNu don't play that). Shit if I won't do it, I know someone in my family will. lol. Anyways, that's besides the point. I love Chris Brown. I think he is the hottest entertainer out right now and I admire him but I still think that he should receive some kind of punishment because he really O'D by hitting a female. And as a fan,its very upsetting to see that the media has been portraying him as an abuser and woman beater. Companies have been terminating endorsements. Even Target has started pulling his CDs from the music section.....
What happened to not being guilty until proven innocent...I know the evidence is overwhelming but none of us know the REAL story of what went down. I stopped listening to the news and reading gossip blogs because to me they are just reporting he say she say. I mean Rihanna's injuries vary by the day; two black eyes, bite marks, and broken teeth; two contusions on her head, a bloody nose and a split lip; choked until she was unconscious Like what the!? Nobody but the police has seen the photos of Rihanna's face. How in the world is the media describing what her face looked like. I mean unless someone from their team opened their mouth. But that wouldn't be smart not would it (Let's give them benefit of the doubt) .....Overall, I think the media is overduing it and its not fair to Rihanna or Chris Brown.

SO THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS.....

(1) Respect Yourselves (2) Know Your Place

Now let me explain...

So I'm going to contradict myself a bit but I've come to the conclusion that Rihanna is equally responsible for this situation. And I'm going to use some of the stuff I've read about her as my proof. So I've been hearing that Rihanna can be very feisty, even violent at times. She said in an interview with Complex magazine that she has gotten in physical fights with her brother and once she smashed a glass vase into his head....there have been sights of them arguing and her going upside his head....also heard she was reallly jealous and hated other girls around him, always checking his phone, being possessive.... so from this...which is unfair I know I know...but I can't help but believe some aspects of this.

My theory is...
ChRihanna were in the car that night. They got the arguing about something, possibly another girl. She started going on him. Cussing him. She did something to cause him to pull over. The arguing escalated. She hit him in the face. He beat her down and dipped.

Let's apply this to the relationships in our lives. Men never put your hands on a woman. Cuz shit like this happens or u might run into a crazy chick like me. Women remember there is such a thing as physically/ mentally abusing your BF. Yea he's a man, but men have feelings too (aww.) and should be respected also. Not saying that women always cross the line with a man and that's the only reason why he would put his hands on you (cuz there are some wack jobs out there). But given this case I'm gonna assume she provoked him. You know what movie comes to mind when I think of this...The Family That Preys...You remember the climax in the story, when Sanaa Lathan's character o'ds on her husband saying he ain't shit.i've been having an affair with my boss and i'm leaving you.you're not the real father of my son. Then he slaps into the next day, and she literally flies over the counter. Yea. When I was watching it I was like yessss that B!*$#h deserved it, then I was like damn he hit her mad hard.smh. Then I was like well she brought it upon herself because he was really patient with her.

That's how I see this situation. It may seem biased but I don't care. This is my blog and this is my opinion.so suck it. So men we all know what you're not supposed to do. But do we women know when not to cross the line? Yea I know men can do things to boil your blood (trust me I've been there) but you need to be careful about how you handle an issue with your partner, especially when you guys are in public. I am NOT an advocate of berating your man when other people are around. I know its hard not cussing him out right there and then but its not a good idea. Neither is putting your hands on him. That's a no no. I would explain how it would impact your relationship but that's a topic for another time.

IN CONCLUSION!

...finally

Ladies and Gentlemen. We need to just love one another. Respect each other and most importantly YOURSELF.

Just felt compelled to discuss this matter so I'm done. For now. Adios

I've been slacking

2009-02-12T15:23:00.003-05:00

Yea I'm back...Don't ask me where I've been, just be glad that I'm back lol. Alot has been going on since...lets see my last post...August...As far as the media, entertainment, politics, my relationships, self-discovery, career progress, school, friendships..etc etc, there is alot to catch up on. But I'll do that a little later. One thing I will definitely come back and write about is this Chris Brown Rihanna mishap...alot of people are just making fun of it but I have my own theory and opinion about what happened.

Stay Tuned. Keep it Lock.

Miss. NuNu

For the love or money?

2008-08-23T23:57:00.005-04:00

As I get ready to go back to school, continuing my college journey preparing for my future career -in health care- I ponder about other career opportunities i can possibly take on. Sometimes i falter and doubt myself or doubt the career in itself saying "I'm gonna be bored with my job..."-one thing I know- is that I'm partially, maybe even totally in the medical field because of the money. I mean its not being greedy...its kinda smart cuz you want a lucrative job in the future so you can live comfortably. If I should get a job in the health industry -whatever it is- I have no doubt that I will be good but my only concerns is if I'm gonna enjoy it. Workin this summer as a cashier at a crazy ass store ( thats a story for later) I realized that some people have this same job for years...something they do everyday...and I never ever want a job like that. I know I can't really compare a job that requires such expertise like 8 years of school to a minimum wage job...I'm just sayin I don't want my career...something I might be possibly be doin for the rest of my life...to bore me. I can share with you this though....the one career I kno I will not have a problem loving for the rest of life is dancing. I mean its something I've loved since I was 4 when I started takin classes in Brooklyn back in the day (lol- i feel old sayin that) . Sounds really cliche...even kinda corny lol...but fareal though. Its different because its not like "I wish I can do this"....its like "I already have that gift to do this". I watch shows like "So You Think You Can Dance" which is like my favorite show in the whooolllleeee entire world and get so inspired...like I cry to myself on the inside...damn I know I can do this....I know I can train and be on this show. Seeing Debbie Allen and Mia Michaels i get chills like crazy..wishing I could someday be trained by them. I mean i haven't taken technical training since the 8th grade but I know I still have the skill and talent...and I learn things quick...And its kinda weird cuz everytime I think my opportunities in dance are over, one comes and lands in my lap...over and over again. Like when I first started wen I was four...I stopped for a while...until I was in jr. high where we had a really really good dance program where students were accepted into top arts schools in brooklyn like Laguardia...did that for 3 years in jr.high then wen I was at high school I was crushed to find out there was no dance team or class...kinda forgot about it and did sports instead to stay fit until one year I decided to quit basketball during the winter season....which was probably the best thing I did cuz I tried out for the school's winter musical. There they gave me most of the dancing parts...even made me dance captain my senior year. People were so confused that I was doin the musical cuz they new me as an athletic girl but I just tell em' I've always been a performer. Now in college I'm head of a dance team...which makes me realize that I should take my talent more serious than I have in the past...guess from discouragement from my family..."you can't eat being a dancer, singer, or artist" (yea i wanted to sing and draw too wen I was younger)..."you don't want to wait tables for the rest of your life"...but now...experiencing the life of a working adult...I'd rather do something I love than eat right about now...guess thats the free-spirited me talkin' right now....the practical or stable me is sayin that statement can change but the truth is that's how many people feel. But you want financial security, right? You gotta survive, right? Sigh.The voice of my mother is vibrating in my head right now. Do something in a field you know you can always find a job in. Something stable. Very confusing

So vulnerable.beautiful....see its shit like this....

I get goosebumps.....

2008-08-23T23:25:00.002-04:00

...everytime I listen to this song...just like Rev. Green says..."simply beautiful"...

Vogue Italia...Black Model Issue? Niiicee

2008-06-23T12:37:00.004-04:00

Some of my fav supermodels like Liya Kebede, Tyra and Alek are being featured in Vogue Italia's first all black model issue. Here's a snippet of the New York Times article in the fasion&style section:

"For the July issue of Italian Vogue, Mr. Meisel has photographed only black models. In a reverse of the general pattern of fashion magazines, all the faces are black, and all the feature topics are related to black women in the arts and entertainment. Mr. Meisel was given roughly 100 pages for his pictures. The issue will be on European newsstands next Thursday and in the United States soon after. Under its editor, Franca Sozzani, Italian Vogue has gained a reputation for being more about art and ideas than commerce. Ms. Sozzani also doesn’t mind controversy. She said that, as an Italian, she has been intrigued by the American presidential race and Mr. Obama, which was one source of inspiration when she and Mr. Meisel began discussing, in February, the idea of an all-black issue. Also, she was aware of the lack of diversity on the runways in recent years and the debate it fueled last fall in New York, where Bethann Hardison, a former model who ran a successful agency, held two panel discussions on the topic. " Cathryn Horne "Conspicuous by Their Presence"
Love it!! Interesting how Sozzani was infuenced by Obama.Now lets get some Asian and Latina representation...

Fox News...you guys are cunts

2008-06-14T01:38:00.008-04:00

Yea I said it...these mother fuckas piss me off. Now I already made a post tonite but I just can't believe these people are allowed to say what they say on television and have the nerve call it news...smh...i guess there's no difference between what they're doing and the continued existence of the KKK. Like I can't just sit here and let them stereotype and ridicule Black people. You can prolly care less but I cannot stand for it. Some of you might say "Oh well, they only stereotype off of what they see" yada yada but damn, even if we are doing something right we get shitted on. Why?...Ion even have to tell you. You already know.

...Take Michelle and Barak Obama. Two amzaing people that I consider role models...especially Michelle I luv her. Like Katt Williams sed...you know a real Black woman if she stands by her man and looks like she smells like Motions Hair Care products lol. Anywayz, I hate how Fox disrespected her and reduced her to "Obama's baby mama". Like wtf? That's his mother fuckin' wife! And then recently callin their little fist bump they did at the end of Barak's nomination speech a 'terrorist fist jab'. AND AGAIN wen some lady on Fox News jokes about killing Obama. Then they go on air like little pussy ass bitches and apologize for what they said. Ya'll meant the shit don't take it back now!? OOOOOO shit like this fires me up. And so does clips like these:

They aaallllwayssss have slip-ups like this and just get away with it! Its unreal...really. And I mean we're not the only targets. They also disrespect Asians...just all minorities in general. So thats why the Jerk-off of the Month Award goes to Fox News...because they are basically the mainstream KKK dressed up in suits and ties.

.......You know what....Lets even throw in Condelezza Rice (..and beans) there too because being Black and being Republican is just an oxymoron to me....I just don't understand it. I'm glad Colon Powell was smart and left President Bush and his nonsense ASAP....I bet he knew alot of sketchy shit was goin on. Not Condi...nope. She stayed and entertained it.....damn sell out...smh wat a waste.

...Clap for yourself...This is long overdue

2008-06-14T01:25:00.005-04:00

This is dedicated to You...watch And enjoy...Yes I'm talkin about you..All of you dudes who tried their tricks...take a hint

Step 1. Acknowledgement (check)

"Take a Bow" by Rihanna

I'm moving out of this country

2008-06-12T03:25:00.006-04:00

I think its important that I learn another language fluently. And fast. Maybe brush up on my Spanish and start learning French cuz America is on a spiraling downhill and the shits coming down fast. Like no lie...if McCain becomes president, I'm packing out and moving somewhere else because everything is in shambles now and McCain's only going to continue Bush's fuckery. I may sound like a cop-out right now but it is what is people. I'm doing it for my future heirs.

Like ion even kno where to begin with this...

...I guess all these thoughts have already been sitting in the back of my mind but I've finally decided to put these thoughts into action after watching Michael Moore's documentary called "Sicko". If you haven't heard of it, its about America's failing health care system and how they fuck us over because we're so damn money hungry. Every American needs to watch this movie seriously cuz we have been swindled and bamboozled into thinking we live a better life than most countries, which is untrue. Basically in the movie Moore exposes how health insurance companies, gov't officials and pharmecutical companies work togther to pass laws that make their pockets fatter. What they'll do is pass laws that allow the insurance companies and drug companies to charge patients watever they want and in return they pay off the lobbyist, senators, reps, even Bush! Not only that but they give bonuses to doctors and board trustees at hospitals who deny patients the critical health care they need, even if it means them dying, because it saves the companies money. Sad part is, they showed other countries like Canada, England, France, even Cuba, who give out health care for free. Yes I said free! .Dental work, surguries,prenatal care, everything, free. I mean in Cuba they pay for their medication and so do the Brits but not much at all. UK charges about $10 for every kind of prescrption, no matter what it is. Cuba, they charge 3 cents for inhalers, something Americans charge more than $100 for...

....You see wat I'm gettin at here...and why I'm planning my great escape. Haha. I'd rather have a gov't who gives a shit about me than be rich. Like ever since I moved to FL my family had to go from a private health insurance we were using in NY to gov't insurance (aka Medicare) cuz my parents are currently working without full benefits. Its been ok so far but they recently took me off because they said they got "word" that I moved out of the house. I was like wtf?! Number 1, I didn't move out, still living at home. Number 2, where the hell are they getting this information from?! Number 3, i'm still a dependent on my parents taxes...So why the hell are they taking me off Medicare. I thought about it a bit and was like maybe its my age? But my mom xplained that I can have Medicare up until I'm 24 since I'm a student (trust me she knows these things). Then I was like wait, maybe because I registered to vote in another state while I was at school. But it still doesn't make sense because state law is that u aren't a resident if haven't live in the state for a year and I haven't live in PA for a full year. Plus if they were getting their so called info from the gov't they would be able to see that I'm a FL resident now, and have been for a few years. Like I just kinda laugh because this shit all makes sense now. Just another scheme to get one less person off so they can save money. Thank GOD for my good health cuz if I was a sickly person who needed medication all the time, I would be screwed. Now looking back...even applying for financial aid in FL has been a conspiacy. SMH. Can you believe FL was not gonna give me state aid if I went to a state school...all because I went to a private school in Jersey. Outrageous huh. Yea but I have been blessed.

Other crap that got me was that they give the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay free health care. Yes you read right Al-Queda and all Osama's homies get free health care and we pay for it. So sad because they showed firefighters, policemen and volunteers who helped during 9/11 who currently suffer different ailments and they don't have enough money and insurance to get the proper care they need. So what Moore did, which was hilarious, was that he took a boat and filled it with the 9/11 workers and other people he had met who need treatment and shipped their asses to Cuba to get free health care....sheeeittt that's what I'm talkin about. Goin to a place where you kno someone will not hesitate to help. Its a disgrace and a hot-damn-shame we have to go out of the country for help we should be getting from our own people. I mean I could go on and on but your gonna have to watch it your damn self to really grasp how we as Americans are fucking and fucked up bad.

If you're interested here's the movie website for Sicko and if you actually google the movie you can find a website where you can watch it online for free. I'll make it easy here are some:
http://gnn.tv/threads/26272/Sicko_The_Movie_in_Full
http://www.watch-movies.net/movies/sicko/

Don't thank me.
Thank you.

Adios.Au revoir <-----Be proud I'm learning already. Wanna b my french tutor hit me up *wink*

...sike.nah.j/p.

I always wondered...

2008-06-11T22:38:00.003-04:00

...what the Black anchormen/anchorwomen really sound like off camera....guess this is it...lmao too funny

No need for introduction.....

2008-06-11T04:10:00.001-04:00

So lets get right to it.

"Time flies fast when you're having fun." I guess I kno the true meaning of this statement now even if there times that weren't so fun. Its like one day your 10 years old saying I want to grow up and do my own thing and have my own fun and do what the hell I want, and next thing you know, you're at that point and realize, damn I wouldn't have minded waiting a little...but ain't no turning back from that. Gotta worry about bills, getting a job (which has been painful to try and do here in FL but I'll get to that later), and just organizing your life in general. Guess I'm having some anxiety...I mean I've spent alot of my life doing things for myself cuz that's just the type of person I am. I figure things out on my own and I really ain't bothered when I don't have help from others. I pride myself in the independence that I've built but I'm gettin kinda nervous cuz now is the time that I have to put all that I've learned into play all the time now.No mommy and daddy to pay ur bill if it's overdue (damn credit card bill I still aint pay lol smh). Maybe I'm feeling this way cuz this is my last year as a "teenager"-despite me feeling like an adult since I was 14....ion know. Or maybe because everytime I go out with my sister they always think I'm her mom. Lmao no lie...I laugh sometimes but I get scared like I hope ion look that old yet...I'm not even 21 and they callin me someone's mama. Or maybe because the family and friends I've grown up with are getting married, having kids and so on and I know my timen is coming soon. Not that I don't look forward to it. But damn. Ppls I used to hang with as a kid getting married and shit.Whoa.Hmph.

Guess I'm nervous with the fact that although I might have preliminary plans for my future.the career.the kids.a hubby.a house.yada yada. And how I want things to turnout for me, you can never be sure cuz life.hmph.life can flip you.dip you.turn you 360.slice you in half.dice you. Just like that. I mean as long as I'm happy at the end of it, I guess I should sit and hope for the best.

Confusion is a disorder I've suffered from for a long time. Sure I ain't the only one. You know you have this when you answer "i don't know" to everything someone asks you. I used to be like that when I was little. "What do you want to eat, Tee?" my dad whould ask me. I don't know. "Where are your shoes?". I don't know. "Are yout tired?".I don't know."Is there anything you don't know?!".I don't know. Someone told me one day, "Yo, you think too much". Didn't think there was such a thing. But now I see.

.......I don't know how to close this so I'm just leaving